The Borrowed Nugget

INVICTUS

2010-04-25T01:58:00.000-07:00

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever the gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the Bludgeonings of fate,
My head is bloody,but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears,
Looms but the Horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishment the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul

Sayings-2

2010-02-11T07:50:00.000-08:00

A Hammer shatters the glass but forges steel

"A dream is not a thing which you see when you are asleep, it is a thing which does not let you sleep" - Dr.A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

All that glitters is not gold, Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost;
From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be King.

Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you.

Anything you want to be,you can be,
You can be just what-all you want

"In my darkest hours with nothing at sight,i may lose the war,but my soul will always fight.
I may still be denied but my head will always remain high and say I TRIED I TRIED I TRIED...."

"It takes a strong fish to swim against the current. Even a dead one can float with
it." - John Crowe

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege!

Lehron se Darkar nauka par nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti

Nanhi cheenti jab daana lekar chalti hai,
chadhti deewaron par, sau bar phisalti hai.
Man ka vishwas ragon mein saahas bharta hai,
chadhkar girna, girkar chadhna na akharta hai.
Akhir uski mehnat bekar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti.

Dubkiyan sindhu mein gotakhor lagata hai,
ja ja kar khali haath lautkar aata hai
Milte nahi sahaj hi moti gehre paani mein,
badhta dugna utsah isi hairani mein.
Muthi uski khali har bar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahi hoti.

Asaflta ek chunauti hai, ise sweekar karo,
kya kami reh gayi, dekho aur sudhar karo.
Jab tak na safal ho, neend chain ko tyago tum,
Sangharsh ka maidan chhodkar mat bhago tum.
Kuch kiye bina hi jai jaikar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti.

The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.

Giving up doesn't always mean you rae weak. Sometimes it just means that you are strong enough to let go.

Those who dance are thought mad by those who do not hear the music

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein

Good, better, best - never let it rest - till your good is better - and your better best."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot.

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.

It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

If you believe in victory,
only then victory will believe in you !!

A winner is not one who never fails ,
but one who NEVER QUITS !!!

Luck may delay your success but It can't deny it.

The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

The moment u thnk of givin up,thnk of d reason y u held so long!

The greatest glory lies not in never falling ,but in rising every time u fall...

Never go to Bed in a state of anger. STAY AWAKE and PLOT your REVENGE.

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

Consider the postage stamp.It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there
- Josh Billings

If life were measured by accomplishments, most of us would die in infancy." A. P. Gouthey

The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

Ignore people who belittle you, they are only trying to cut you down to their size.

You never win a silver medal , you always lose a gold.

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf.

What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it--would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have - Ralph Marston

When everything seems to be going against you,just remember that an airplane takes off against the wind,not with it."-Henry Ford

When I was a kid, my mother told me that if you could not be a good loser, then there's no way you could be a good winner.
-Halle berry

Do not be embarrassed by your mistakes. Nothing can teach us better than our understanding of them. This is one of the best ways of self-education.
-Thomas Carlyle

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.

Many things can be preserved in alcohol.......... Dignity is not one of them.

Always Money is not everything but make sure you have made lots of it before talking such nonsense

A wise man fights to win, but he is twice a fool who has no plan for possible defeat.
-Louis L'Amour

2009-08-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his class on the problem
science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student:Sure.
Prof:Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof:My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't.
How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)

Prof:You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student:Yes.
Prof:Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Prof:Where does Satan come from?
Student:From...God.. ..
Prof:That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student:Yes.
Prof:Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student:Yes.
Prof:So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof:Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible
things exist in the world, don't they?
Student:Yes, sir.
Prof:So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)

Prof:Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the
world around you.
Tell me, son...Have you ever
seen God?

Student:No, sir.
Prof:Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student:No, sir.

Prof:Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you
ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student:No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof:Yet you still believe in Him?
Student:Yes.

Prof:According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says
your GOD doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?
Student:Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof:Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student:Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof:Yes.
Student:And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof:Yes.

Student:No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega
heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.
But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below
zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to
describe the absence of heat . We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy
. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it
.(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student:What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof:Yes.. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student :You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can
have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light....But if
you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called
darkness, isn't it? In
reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make
darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof:So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student:Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof:Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student:Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is
life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are
viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can
measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses
electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully
understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be
ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved
from a monkey?
Prof:If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student:Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize
where the argument is going.)

Student:Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and
cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you
not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a
preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student:Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt
it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according
to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol,
science says that you have no brain,sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
unfathomable. )

Prof:I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student:That is it sir.... The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all
that keeps things moving & alive.

NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. ..and if so...you'll
probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same...won't
you?....
this is a true story, and the

student was none other than......... .

APJ Abdul Kalam , the former president of India .

Sayings

2009-06-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

Success doesn't mean the absence of failures,it means the attainment of ultimate objectives.It means winning the war,not every battle -Edwin C. Bliss

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly, to be fearful of the night

Many things will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart... pursue those...-Mac Anderson

The more you sweat in training, the less you will bleed in battle.

Never leave till tomorrow,which you can do today…-Benjamin Franklin

If you think education is expensive,try ignorance...- Derek Bok

Being Ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn to do things the right way....- Benjamin Franklin

Start by doing what is necessary,then what is possible,and suddenly you are doing the impossible... St. Francis of Assisi

You may be disappointed if you fail,but you will be doomed if you don’t try…Beverley Sills

If you really want to succeed,form the habits of doing things that failures don’t like to do….Anonymous

I don’t know ther key to success,but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.. Bill Cosby

History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heart breaking obstacles before they triumphed.They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats..B.C. Forbes

Destiny is not a matter of chance,it is a matter of choice;it is not a thing to be waited for,it is a thing to be achieved...

Health,happiness and Success depend upon the fighting spirit of each person.The big thing is not what happens to us in life-but what we do about what happens ti us-George Allen

Try not to become a success,but rather try to become a man of value-Albert Einstein

A duty which becomes a desire will ultimately become a delight...-George Gritter...

If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery,it wouldn’t seem wonderful at all...Michaelangelo

Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work harder at something worth doing..Theodore Roosevelt...

The critic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing-Oscar Wilde..

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today-Franklin Roosevelt...

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle.Most of us have gears we never use-Charles Schultz

A man is a hero not because he is braver than anyone else,but because he is brave for ten minutes longer..-Ralph Waldo Emerson...

If you think you can or if you think you cant,you are right...Henry Ford..

Everyone has a will to win but very few have the will to prepare to win..Vince Lombardi

You have a choice in life:You can either pay the price of discipline or regret-Tim Connor

Great minds have purposes,others have wishes—Washington Irving.

Good things come to those who wait,but only those things left by those who hustle—Abraham Lincoln .

Everyone who’s ever taken a shower has an idea.It’s the person who gets out,dries off,and does something about it who makes a difference—Nolan Bushnell...

What a man thinks of himself:that is what determines,or rather indicates,his fate—Henry David Thomas...

Success is 99 percent failure—Soichiro Honda

Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired but controlling the desire—Epictetus..

I am looking for a mot of men with an infinite capacity for not knowing what cannot be done – Henry Ford

Associate youself with people of good quality if you esteem your reputation,for it is better to be alone than to be in bad company..—George Washington....

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission –Eleanor Roosevelt...

Patience creates confidence,decisiveness,and a rational outlook,which eventually leads to success – Bryan Adams..

For evil to flourish,good people have to do nothing and the evil shall flourish –Edmund Burke...

Responsibilities gravitate to the person who can shoulder them –Elbert Hubbard

The price of greatness is responsibility—Winston Churchill

Nothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm—Ralph Waldo Emerson

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis but rather the feeling of being unwanted – Mother Teresa..

I learned a long time ago never to wrestle with a pig.You get dirty and besides,the pig likes it...—Cyrus Ching

Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength..—Eric Hoffer

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed – Lloyd Jones...

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal –Henry Ford

Make no little plans,they have no magic to stir men’s blood...make big plans,aim high in hope and work...-Daniel Burnham

Do not confuse motion and progress.A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress. –Alfred Montapert.

Improve

2009-06-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

There was once an oyster, whose story I tell.
who found that some sand, had got into his shell.
Now did he berate, the harsh workings of fate,
that had brought him, to such a deplorable state.
No he said to himself,as he lay in the shell.
Since I cannot remove it, I shall try to improve it.

Luck

2009-06-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

He worked by day
And toiled by night.
He gave up play
And some delight.
Dry books he read,
New things to learn.
And Forged ahead,
Success to earn.
He plodded on with
Faith and pluck;
And when he won,
Men called it Luck

-ANONYMOUS

Ratan Tata's speech at the unveiling ceremony of the 'Nano'

2009-04-13T04:56:00.001-07:00

Ladies and Gentleman, thank you for being with us on this memorable occasion. There are no celebrities at this function nor any dance routines. The center of attraction for this morning's event is the new Tata car which we are unveiling.

We're going to take you on a small journey. A journey that symbolizes the human spirit of change, the will to question the unquestionable, the drive to stretch the envelope.

Ladies and gentleman, I invite you to join me in this journey of innovation and evolution. The quest to lead and the quest to conquer. It is this quest that led to the first manned flight by the Wright brothers. Today, thousands of aircrafts travel the skies carrying millions of passengers across the globe in safety and comfort. The same quest for leadership and conquering new frontiers led to landing man on the moon, an unheard of and unbelievable achievement at that time.

Innovation and evolution led to the creation of a bicycle which the rider pedaled to move faster than walking. Later, innovation motorized the bicycle to create the motorcycle and the scooter, providing motorized transport for up to two persons. The ENIAC computer in 1945, considered among the highest powered at that time filled an entire room. Today, the power of that huge machine is exceeded in the personal computer that sits on our desks or in fact, that we carry as laptops in our briefcases.

There are solutions for most problems. The barriers and roadblocks that we face are usually of our own making and these can only be demolished by having the determination to find a solution, even contrary to the conventional wisdom that prevails around us, by breaking tradition.

Today's story started some years ago when I observed families riding on two wheelers, the father driving a scooter, his young kid standing in front of him, his wife sitting behind him holding a baby and I asked myself whether one could conceive of a safe, affordable, all weather form of transport for such a family. A vehicle that could be affordable and low cost enough to be within everyone's reach, a people's car, built to meet all safety standards, designed to meet or exceed emission norms and be low in pollution and high in fuel efficiency. This then was the dream we set ourselves to achieve. Many said this dream could not be achieved. Some scuffed at what we would produce, perhaps a vehicle comprising two scooters attached together or perhaps an unsafe rudimentary vehicle, a poor excuse for a car. Let me assure you and also assure our critics that the car we have designed and we will be presenting to you today will indeed meet all the current safety requirements of a modern day car.

Of late, when it became known that we will in fact be making such a car, the attention has moved to questioning the pollution it would create. Let me again assure those who have concern for the environment that the car we present to you today will meet all current legislated emission criteria and will have a lower pollution level than even a two wheeler being manufactured in India today.

Concerns are also now being expressed about the congestion that could be caused by the existence of our small car in large numbers. I believe this needs to be put in the right perspective. There is no doubt that India is woefully behind its neighbours in infrastructure. The government is endeavoring to address this situation with its new road policy. Looking ahead, five years from today, were we to produce and sell 5,00,000 small cars every year, we would then, at the end of five years constitute approximately 2.5% of all passenger vehicles in the country. This could hardly be considered the nightmare of congestion that is being raised today about our new small car.

Despite what the critics said, despite what our antagonistic did, we pursued our vision to give India an affordable people's car that had not been produced anywhere in the world. In fact, a car that most people said could not be manufactured for that kind of price. But we never took our eyes of our goal. Today we will present what a young group of engineers and designers gave their all, for about four years to achieve.

Anyway I have said enough ladies and gentlemen, now I give you the new car from Tata Motors, the people's car that everyone has been waiting for.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you again for being with us. We are very pleased to present these cars to you today. They are not concept cars. They are not prototypes. They are the production cars that will roll out of the Singur plant later this year. And these will come in several variants. You have today on the stage one basic car or standard car and two deluxe cars which will have air conditioning also. Yes there will be air conditioning.

This is been referred to as one man's dream and indeed it was. But it took a tremendous amount of team work to convert this or translate this into reality. And I think it would be but fair and fitting to recognize and acknowledge the achievement of young group engineers who undertook the challenge for four years and great sacrifice to themselves and produced this car. I'd like to acknowledge Girish Wagh who headed the team. Girish, would you come up here? And some of his team members who are here with him. There are close to five hundred people in the team and obviously not all of them can be here, so on behalf of all of us we would like to acknowledge, on behalf of the company what the team has been able to do. All five hundred of them. I would also like to ask Ravi Kant (Managing Director, Tata Motors Ltd.), Prakash Telang (Executive Director (Commercial Vehicles), Tata Motors Ltd.) and Rajiv Dube (President (Passenger Cars), Tata Motors Ltd.) to join me up here at this time.

Let me say something about the car. The cars you see, as you can, are four door, they will seat four to five persons, they are powered by a 33 horse power, 624 cc engine. In size, externally it is approximately 8% smaller, bumper to bumper, than the Maruti 800. But internally it is 21% larger in passenger space. Fuel economy in terms of mileage, it'll be around 20 kilometers per liter or approximately 50 miles a gallon.

As I said earlier, much has been said about emission and much has been said about congestion and safety. Let me address the emission and the safety issues. In emissions as I mention, the car has, in fact passed the full frontal crash test that is required in this country (India). But it is also been designed to pass the offset and the side crash which is required internationally. So that the car can, in fact, be sold internationally.

In terms of pollution, it today confirms to Bharat III and in fact today with this engine will indeed meet Euro IV which is not yet required in this country (India).

We decided we'd call it Nano because it connotes high technology and small size. So we stayed with the name.

Finally all of you have been conjecturing about the price. And since we commenced this exercise four years ago, we are all aware that there has been a very steep increase in input prices of steel, tires and various and sundry other inputs. Bearing all this in mind, I would like to announce today that the standard car will in fact have a dealer price of One Lakh Only (100,000 INR), VAT and transport being extra. Now having said that, I just want to say that that is because a promise is a promise and that's what we would like to leave you with.

Letter of Abdul Kalam to all Indian

2009-04-11T15:17:00.000-07:00

I have three visions for India.
In 3000 years of our history, people from all over the world have come and invaded us, captured our lands, conquered our minds.

From Alexander onwards. The Greeks, the Turks, the Muslims, the Portuguese, the British,the French, the Dutch, all of them came and looted us, took over what was ours. Yet we have not done this to any other nation. We have not conquered anyone. We have not grabbed their
land,their culture, their history and tried to enforce our way of life on them. Why? Because we respect the freedom of others.
That is why my first vision is that of FREEDOM.
I believe that India got its first vision of this in 1857, when we started the war of independence.It is this freedom that we must protect and nurture and built on. If we are not free, no one will respect us.
My second vision for India is DEVELOPMENT.
For fifty years we have been a developing nation. It is time we see ourselves as a developed nation.We are among top nations of the world in terms of GDP. We have 10 percent growth rate in most areas.
Our poverty levels are falling.Our achievements are being globally recognized today. Yet we lack the self-confidence to see ourselves as
a developed nation,self reliant and self assured. Isn't this right?
I have a third vision. The India must stand up to the world.Because I believe that unless India stands up to the world, no one will respect us. Only strength respects strength. We must be strong not only as a military power but also as an economic power. Both must go and-in-hand.
My good fortune was to have worked with three great minds.
Dr. Vikram Sarabhai of the Dept. of space, Professor Satish Dhawan, who succeeded him, and Dr. Brahm Prakash,father of nuclear material. I was lucky to have worked with all three of them closely and consider this the great opportunity of my life.

I see four milestones in my career:
ONE:
Twenty years I spent in ISRO. I was given the opportunity to be
the project director for India's first satellite launch vehicle, SLV3.
The one that launched Rohini. These years played a very important role
in my life of Scientist.
TWO:
After my ISRO years, I joined DRDO and got a chance to be the part of India's guided missile program. It was my second bliss when Agni met its mission requirements in 1994.
THREE:
The Dept. of Atomic Energy and DRDO had this tremendous partnership in
the recent nuclear tests, on May 11 and 13. This was the third
bliss.The joy of participating with my team in these nuclear tests
and proving to the world that India can make it, that we are no longer
a developing nation but one of them.
It made me feel very proud as an Indian. The fact that we have now
developed for Agni a re-entry structure,for which we have developed
this new material. A Very light material called carbon-carbon.
FOUR:
One day an orthopedic surgeon from Nizam Institute of Medical Sciences
visited my laboratory. He lifted the material and found it so light
that he took me to his hospital and showed me his patients. There
were these little girls and boys with heavy metallic calipers weighing
over three Kgs. each, dragging their feet around.
He said to me: Please remove the pain of my patients.In three weeks, we made these Floor reaction Orthosis 300 gram calipers and took them to the orthopedics center. The children didn't believe their eyes. From
dragging around a three kg. load on their legs, they could now move around! Their parents had tears in their eyes.That was my fourth bliss!

Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths,
our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing
success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them.Why?
We are the second largest producer of wheat in the world.We are
the second largest producers in rice. We are the first in milk
production. We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan, he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self driving unit.
There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed
with the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper.
It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had
taken place.
The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the
picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his
desert land into orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.
In India we only read about death,sickness,terrorism,crime.
Why are we so negative?
Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign
things? we want foreign TVs, we want foreign shirts. We want
foreign technology.Why this obsession with everything imported?
Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance?
I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is:
She replied: I want to live in a developed India.
For her, you and I will have to built this developedIndia. You must proclaim.

- Abdul Kalam.
(Bharat Ratna)

Third World War-Nostradamus

2009-03-23T05:57:00.001-07:00

"In the year of the new century and nine months,
From the sky will come a great King of Terror...
The sky will burn at forty-five degrees.
Fire approaches the great new city...
There will be a great thunder,
Two brothers torn apart by chaos,
While the fortress endures,
The great leader will succumb,
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning"

Nostradamus

Indianess

2009-03-23T05:53:00.000-07:00

Friends, These are from an article in India Abroad, a
desi newspaper here in the U.S. So with malice towards
one and all, here goes...

One Bengali is a poet
Two Bengalis is a film society
Three Bengalis is a political party
Four Bengalis is two political parties
____
One Punjabi is a 100 kg hulk named Pinky
Two Punjabis is a Pinky with his brother Twinky
Three Punjabis is an assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds
Four Punjabis is a combined IQ equal to one Tam-Brahm
____
One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad
Three Biharis is a caste killing
Four Biharis is the entire literate population of
Patna
_____
One Mallu is a coconut stall
Two Mallus is a boat race
Three Mallus is a Gulf job racket
Four Mallus is an oil slick
___
One UP bhaiyya is a milkman
Two UP bhaiyyas is a halwai shop
Three UP bhaiyyas is a fist-fight in the UP assembly
Four UP bhaiyyas is a mosque-destruction squad
______
One Gujju is a share-broker in a Bombay train
Two Gujjus is a rummy game in a Bombay train
Three Gujjus is a Rs. 10-crore sprocket manufacturing business
Four Gujjus is an all-night dandia-raas session
____
One Andhraite is a chilli farmer
Two Andhraites is a software company in New Jersey
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit
Four Andhraites is a song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie
______
One Kashmiri is a carpet salesman
Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory
Three Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit
Four Kashmiris is a shoot-at-sight order
____
One Tam-Brahm is a priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple
Two Tam-Brahms is a maths tuition class
Three Tam-Brahms is a queue outside the U.S. consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms is a Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara
___
One Bombayite is a footpath vada-pau stall
Two Bombayites is a film studio
Three Bombayites is a slum
Four Bombayites is the number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour
____
One Sindhi is a currency racket
Two Sindhis is a papad factory
Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop
Four Sindhis is the Hong Kong Retail Traders Association
_____
One U.S. Desi is a software guy
Two U.S. Desis is a lunch group at work
Three U.S. Desis is a bitching session about the U.S.
Four U.S. Desis is four software guys, heating tamarind rice in the office microwave, cooked that morning, in their shared one bedroom apartment, and bitching about life in the U.S.

Poem for Drunks...

2009-03-23T05:44:00.000-07:00

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right..
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight..

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Sambher of 69

2009-03-12T01:12:00.000-07:00

I had my first real six rupees,
stole it from my father's pants.
went to a madrasi hotel,
to eat the sambhar of 69.
Me and some kadke dost,

had it all and we caught bukhaar,
jimy puked, joey got ulcers,
and Bagga ne maari dakar.

Oh when I went back there now,
the food was as stale as ever,
and though it was 1999,
still the sambhar was being served over there,

that was the worst food of my life.

Therez no use in complaining,
when you got no other place to eat,
rushed in the evening to the doctors clinic, but he too was at the toilet seat, yeah

standing there waiting outside,
nurse told me I will wait forever,
oh and when I held my breath,
I knew that I had to use that loo there
That was the worst food of my life.

Back to the sambhar of 69.

Man I was getting killed,
I was full and restless,
I needed to unwind,
I guess nothing can wait forever

Class Analogy

2009-03-12T00:25:00.000-07:00

Really a class analogy.

An Old Story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the
summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or
shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Indian Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the
summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be that this poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as `injustice' done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt
support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard
in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and
Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism
Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the
winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational
Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left
to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later.

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley,

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere
in India !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!